When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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