I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Holy sore nipples Batman
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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