Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
How's work?
Spinning.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
