i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
