Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
