He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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