Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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