Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
