I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize