You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
