I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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