"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
