If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
