Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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