My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
