Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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