that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
So much Jack, so little girl.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Just puked most of my soul out..
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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