these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
