Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
my being single is dangerous.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Randomize
