summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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