It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
