he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
