it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
