You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We had sex on a dog bed..
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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