She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
There r osticjed everywhere
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
