i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
