apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
