i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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