You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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