He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
