I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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