Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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