Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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