All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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