Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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