Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
