Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
