Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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