i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
