I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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