After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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