it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
