Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
