My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
