Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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