Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
