I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
