your thong is hanging out like whoa
he shaved USA in his pubs
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
