I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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