loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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