Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
