Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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