420 ftw
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
