If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
