My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
