He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
