nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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