I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
