I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
